Religious Trauma: In the Workplace

Religious trauma in the workplace is one that we don’t hear about often. We know about it within some religious communities, within the family and in relationships, but we somehow overlook how this can show up in the workplace. 

I want to tell you a story. I was working somewhere and I was offered another job within that company. I had pitched several ideas about ways that we could provide a greater customer experience, as that is something that is of high value to me. I saw some challenges and wanted to help fix them for the employees and customers. I was brought into a meeting where I was offered a job that tied all of my ideas together. Really - it was a dream job for me. The catch: the company stated they didn’t have the budget to pay me for the job. They wanted me to do the new job (my old job) and not pay me for the new job. My internal response was “What the heck!” It was strongly encouraged for me to pray about taking the job, as God really values service and charity, and this would be one of the ways that I could serve the kingdom and help the company. They went so far as to placate me by saying it would be one of the ways I could tithe to the kingdom through my work in this role. I was encouraged to see things from the perspective of how fulfilling this role could help carry out the God-given vision for the company. It was inferred that this was one of the purposes for me in my life.

I left this company shortly thereafter and I had someone in my life sit down with me. I think their exact words were “What the actual F? That’s not ok. You need to get out of there NOW!” I waited until I had things in order to the point where I felt I could leave. (Note that I couldn’t just leave. I had to feel like I could leave). Then I left and haven’t looked back. It was one of the best decisions of my career to this day and I have felt more empowered, confident, and competent than I ever felt at that workplace. 

This is just one small example of what religious manipulation, abuse, and trauma in the workplace can look like. There are significantly more extreme versions of religious trauma in the workplace, but a situation like this happens so often for people that they don’t even recognize it for what it is because it FEELS NORMAL!

I want to make it really clear - I’m not against faith based workplaces. In fact, one of the best bosses I’ve ever had was a very strong faith-based woman. She was incredible at what she did and she never used faith to manipulate or control. She lived her life with integrity, dignity and deep respect for all those around her. I think that having a common ground and clear morals and values as a workplace can be really important. Where that can get skewed though, is when those morals, values, or faith is used to manipulate and control employees, contractors and their families. This often begins really subtly and sometimes not even with a malicious intent. It can present as concern and prayer for individual and family needs. It can feel really nice to feel like you’re cared for and your needs are looked after. Over time, it becomes more about what is in the best interest for the company based on what God wants/needs from us. It shows up as how we as people can serve God’s kingdom as the company and what we need to sacrifice in order to make the God given mission or vision of the company happen. This can often look like employees giving up more of their time, taking pay cuts, or even just not getting raises. This results in employees needing to take on more work to make financial ends meet, taking on more work and not feeling like you can say no, or a number of other things. These are just the ones that I see most commonly. There is a lack of ability to put up boundaries and stick to them because the company pulls on your mind and heart strings of wanting to be a good faith based person by using the “God card.”

Starting to unravel the mess of spaghetti that it can feel like in your mind, heart, and body after experiencing something like religious trauma in the workplace takes time. Oftentimes so much of your experience feels normal and that’s why it’s important to just start to talk to someone. I would recommend seeking out a therapist who can be a neutral third party for you. As you start talking and sharing about your experiences, a therapist is able to help you start to recognize what is normal and what is not; what is ok and what is not; where you have lost your ability to have your voice, choice and power, and where you’ve put up boundaries and stood up for yourself. They can help you tease apart your experience so you can start to process it and make decisions for yourself that are best for you. 

If this is new for you, this idea that there can be religious trauma in the workplace and that you might be experiencing it - take some time to sit with it. It doesn’t mean that you need to do anything about it right now. Sometimes it's enough to start to recognize that this might be part of your experience. Unpacking religious trauma can be really challenging and takes a lot of time. If you’re looking for a next step, seek out a neutral third party that is someone that you can trust - in this case, not someone at your workplace. If you’re not sure who to seek out, then I would recommend seeking out a therapist who can provide you with a neutral space. This can help you figure out where you land in regards to your own experiences without someone else labelling it for you. If you’re not sure where to start, feel free to reach out to us and we can either plug you in to a therapist on our team or we can try to help you find one that might be a good fit for you.