Promoting A Healthy Mind and Body in Youth: Teaching Boundaries and Consent

We know this is a tricky subject, but not talking about it will not keep your child or teen safe. So let's create a space with our kids and teens where we discuss consent and make it normal, comfortable and safe to discuss.

Let’s start by teaching youth that there is an invisible space around their body and brain called a “boundary fence”, and this fence is there to keep them safe and healthy. Explain to them that using boundaries and understanding consent is a super power and an important life skill that they can use now and for many years to come. Discuss with them that although this space is invisible, it is important for everyone to have a boundary fence.

Next, name the boundary fence an “invisible body and brain shield” that will help promote safety for their heart, mind and body. Actually get up and draw an invisible fence around them with chalk so they can learn what having enough space visually looks like as they engage with others at home, places of worship, school, sports, clubs or on the playground. Remind them that no person has the right to touch their private body parts and use biological words as you explain this concept. Remind them that this includes family members, babysitters, teachers, coaches, strangers, and friends. Tell them that if anyone asks to touch their private parts to tell you right away, and that they will never be in trouble. Also have a family rule that secrets are not kept, and that in your household we only have surprises such as surprising nana for her 80th birthday, or surprising a loved one with a gift.

In addition, teach your kids the power of saying no! Discuss family and boundaries with them, we need to teach them if they don't feel comfortable giving a family member a hug that it is okay, because if kids can't say no to family, it can be hard to say no to a stranger, extended family or a friend who is requesting something that is unsafe. Teaching this empowers them to practice a firm yes and no with safe people and gives them the confidence to make safe decisions for themselves in the future.