Understanding Fight, Flight, Freeze & Fawn

If you’ve been following along thus far, you may have gained some further insight around both the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system.
Now, what do the fight, flight, freeze and fawn responses LOOK like?
Since they can all feel quite distressing in the moment, it can be really helpful to understand what is truly happening, when any of these moments come up. 

Sympathetic Nervous System Responses:

FIGHT Response: This response occurs when you feel or see there’s danger and your brain believes you can overtake it. You may notice anger, your jaw tightening, the urge to punch or attack, tightness in your body, etc. It results in fighting back to protect oneself from harm or pain. It can show up in relationships as being judgemental, mistrustful and/or as a need for control. This response also includes responses of suicide and self-harm which we’ll talk about in more detail at a later date. 

FLIGHT Response: This response occurs when your brain assesses you can’t overtake the danger but might avoid it by fleeing. Your pupils dilate and you may feel fidgety or restless in your body. It may show up in relationships as mixed or conflicting feelings, an emotional wall, an inability to commit, or in addictive behaviours. 

Parasympathetic Nervous System Responses:

FREEZE Response: This includes being unable to move or respond. Some equate the freeze response to animals playing dead and can sometimes involve an inability to feel pain. This is an adaptive route sometimes taken when fighting or fleeing aren’t an option, or have been found to be ineffective in previous experiences. You may notice a feeling of dread, pounding heart, slowed heart rate, and/or stiffness/heaviness in the body. It can show up as panic, terror, immobility in the moment, and/or a fear of being seen.

FAWN Response: The fawn response is when we try to appease the other person because we feel like fighting, and fleeing are not options. When we appease them we are able to stay connected and feel taken care of so it makes us feel safer in the moment. It’s often learned in childhood when the child is most reliant on their caregivers. Children can learn to disconnect from their own needs and prioritize the needs/desires of caregivers to maintain connection so other needs like love, safety, shelter and food will be met. Fawning is when you appease an abusive other, for example, by being very agreeable to avoid greater harm. It can look like depression, codependency, people pleasing, and/or excessive apologizing, just to name a few. 

Sensations of numbness and an inability to sense pain (emotional or physical) can occur as a part of any of these responses.

Perhaps while reading through these examples, you began to recognize certain patterns in
how you typically respond to stressful situations. Some of these examples might have evoked painful memories or instances where you wish you'd known how to react differently. It's possible that they've even left you feeling misunderstood. Each of these things can fuel a desire to learn how to effectively manage and regulate your emotions, while also acquiring healthy communication skills for times when you experience high levels of stress.

If that sounds like you, I hope you find the next blog even more helpful! We'll be providing a bit more insight on how the brain is connected to each response, while including a few important reminders to carry as you navigate some of these memories.

Til next time,
Tanya Rae