What the Heck is EMDR? What to do After an EMDR Session

I think one of the best things that always makes me laugh is when people come into therapy and they tell me that EMDR isn’t working. “It was weird, and nothing is different.” I always say, “Ok, so tell me about your week. Why do you think it isn’t working?” More often than not, the client tells me it’s not working because nothing happened that week, they weren’t triggered at all and overall, the week was fine. As we start to unpack things, I’m able to point out that different situations that would have triggered them or caused them to spiral a few weeks earlier, didn’t bother them at all. I point out that it’s interesting that EMDR isn’t working and lo and behold, they’re not feeling triggered and overall feeling pretty good. Huh…interesting.

I often tell people that EMDR sessions are processing the different incidents that we target, but integration happens afterwards. To me, processing means decreasing the intensity and distress of the incident, while integration is understanding the impact of those incidents in different areas of our lives and how it’s influenced how we see ourselves, others, and the world. I have often found that integration happens afterwards with talk therapy, self-reflection, mindfulness, and communicating with friends and family.

People often find that once the intensity of the incident decreases, they’re able to respond differently when they’re triggered. When they respond differently, they’re able to look at things from different perspectives and when they do that, they change the dynamic in the situation. This then changes the outcome both short term and long term in relationships with themselves and others. It often still takes time to integrate, as a lot of the habits and patterns we’ve developed have been based in self-preservation. It takes time for us to recognize that we no longer need to live in that space any longer as we have different skills and our voice to be able to advocate for ourselves or others in a new way.

I firmly believe that we as humans are never done. We’ve never arrived - but we can continue to shift the way we see ourselves, others and the world. We can explore our strengths and weaknesses, own everything that we are and continue our journey of self-discovery. There is also a time where I believe we need to pause the healing stuff and just live our lives. Sometimes I find that we can become consumed with continual healing, and though healing is not a bad thing when we become consumed with it, we need to pause. Healing can also come in just living our lives, enjoying relationships, navigating challenges and continuing to care for ourselves. I’m a big believer in having a therapist in your back pocket so this way when shit hits the fan you have someone you can process things out with. If you’re looking for a therapist that you can see ongoing to help you navigate life and challenges, process trauma or just be a sounding board to help you navigate life don’t hesitate to reach out. We have a team of incredible therapists, one of whom I’m sure would be a good fit for you.