Betrayal Trauma

Betrayal Trauma: This may be a term that you’re familiar with, or it could be one that is completely new to you. Let’s start out with what it is, and go from there.

Betrayal Trauma refers to the psychological and emotional distress that is a result of feeling betrayed by someone close to you or someone who is in a position of authority or trust. It happens when someone violates the trust in the relationship, whether it’s been explicitly or implicitly expressed. 

This type of trauma will often happen in romantic relationships when there have been broken promises, deception, lies, or affairs. It also commonly occurs in close relationships where there has been abuse or exploitation by a family member, friend or colleague in a professional setting. 

It often results in long-lasting fear and anxiety in relationships whether there is stability and honesty or not. You may often feel like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop; wondering, waiting, looking for evidence that the person you’re in a relationship with is lying or going to betray you. There is often a deep sense of grief that comes with the loss of trust in the relationship, and unpacking that is important. The responses usually start with shock, denial, anger and sadness with a constant state of confusion wondering “why?” Many times there is a sharp decrease in your sense of self-esteem and sense of self, blaming yourself for what happened. Mentally spiraling into the “if only…” space. 

Recovering from Betrayal Trauma comes in waves. There tends to be periods of time where there is a lot of healing in a short period of time and then there are some parts that take longer to recover and heal from. Often the “WHY?” “WHAT IF?” and “IF ONLY...” questions and thoughts are the hardest ones to heal from. It’s important in this process to have support from trusted people, therapists, or counsellors to help you navigate the recovery from the Betrayal Trauma. If this is something that you’ve experienced and you’d like help with, please reach out. We want you to be able to move forward and not have this haunt you any longer. 

Stay tuned for the last blog in our Trauma Blog Series.